dangers of empathy

Empathy is defined as the "ability to identify with or understand another's situation or feelings" and not to be confused with sympathy which is defined as "a feeling of pity or sorrow for the distress of another".

Sometimes empathy can cross lines that are ableist. To claim that everyone is capable of empathy is wrong but that does not make those individuals bad people. On the other side, empathy does not always need to be given. Sometimes our empathy towards those who are disabled can further perpetuate stereotypes and discrimination against them.

I see a lot of empathy on social media. There may be good intentions behind their support but the matter of fact is that those who are disabled are hardly represented in media or films. They are not given the necessary accessibility they need. Empathy is generated for them as long as they remain behind the curtain.

I've always had trouble trying to understand people's reasoning to fear those who are disabled. That is what it is, it's fear. In reality, there is nothing to be afraid of. Being disabled is apart of their identity.

These past couple of week, the hit show "America's Got Talent" had a young man who was blind and fell on the autism spectrum perform and blow away the judges with his piano skills and singing ability. Immediately the crowd was on there feet, cheering for this young man. He was also immediately put through into the finals. This was great to see as this young man has already torn down many barriers. However, what caught my attention was Terry Crews's tweet about this young man. It read "Erase the Dis, Highlight the Ability". This is Terry Crews attempting to empathize with the contestants hardship however it just further marginalizes a group of people. Being disabled is apart of their identity and trying to erase it does not erase the stigmatization. This tweet is still up and generated 25,000 likes despite all the comments reply to Terry Crews explaining the harm his tweet has caused. It is frustrating to see the tweet still up because it is still garnering views. Instead of providing a link or image of the tweet I would like to quote some of the replies right here as a reminder of the dangers of empathy.

@emily_ladau: I recognize you're trying to push back against society's marginalization of disability but your sentiment contributes to it. You can have a disability & be talented. Disability is an identity, not something that must be overlooked to acknowledge talent. No need to erase anything.

@ralee514: There is nothing wrong with the word disability. Erase the perspective it means something negative in the first place.

@jessienebulous: He did great & I'm very happy for him, but never say "forget the dis" in "disability!" Being blind & autistic very much influences who a person is, & having talent does not erase that. You have to see the whole person, not just pick & choose "acceptable" aspects.

@ashybunny: Terry, dude, you're great. I love ya... But disabilities don't make us less human and they shape who we are so much, just how we experience the world. We don't need to erase it- just don't glorify it either? It's just a fact about us, not a superpower nor something to pity.

Graphic by @Gapingvoid